If you take the wrong approach to managing your anger, you may be in big trouble.
Anger and rage do not go away on their own when they are created. There is no magic way to deal with it. In fact, when anger strikes you, it is very important that you be able to express it properly; Because if you use the wrong way to manage your anger, you may get in real trouble. Bad anger management is a terrible habit that can lead to catastrophic consequences. Because anger is one of those emotions that, when attacked, often leads to stupid behavior. So when we use the wrong techniques to manage anger, we say things or do things that constantly hurt ourselves or others, including those we love.
Some people view anger with a more or less positive outlook. For example, the boss of a company or a strict father who shouts may think that his shouting is a sign of his seriousness or commitment. Uncontrolled anger, however, rarely results in positive action. On the contrary, it annoys a person and causes more anger in return, and then the person feels resentment and regret, which sometimes – perhaps most of the time – is useless, but causes anxiety and tension.
Four ways you should not use it
For this reason, learning anger management is important. This does not mean that one should not be angry, because anger, like all emotions, is, in most cases, a legitimate reaction. What you should not do is let your anger take over your control. In other words, do not let your anger tell you what to do or say.
This lesson shows four incorrect ways to manage anger so that you do not use them to manage your anger when you are angry and furious.
Absolute restraint and repression
Absolute restraint is never a valid way to manage anger or other emotions. In fact, you should never deny or suppress what you feel or try to ignore your feelings. If you do, you will find yourself trapped.
In fact, no kind of repression is ever successful. Because the energy you try to control, suppress, and stifle within yourself for cultural, personality, religious, or out of ignorance reasons, it always returns in the form of physical or psychological cues. Gastric or peptic ulcer: It is the most common cause of hair loss, memory loss, skin rashes, hair loss, loss of libido, and hundreds of other problems that your doctor can treat. / Anxiety and stress / Decreased libido / Premature ejaculation, constipation, etc. You have nervous roots “and this means that you are managing your emotions incorrectly.
In such cases, it is not right to bite the lip and try to move forward as if nothing had happened. So what you can do is stop the rampant outbursts of anger from becoming a factor against you or others. In fact, tranquility gives way to a much more conducive environment; A situation in which you can express your feelings.
Swallow anger
One of the consequences of suppressing the energy of anger is that it eventually explodes inside you, because the emotions do not disappear from within us; they remain until they escape. In addition, when you do not manage negative emotions, they eventually become something more unwanted. In fact, if anger is extinguished inside you without expression, it will provoke something in you.
Depression often hides repressed anger. There is anger, but instead of targeting the person who created it, it may come back to you. As a result, blame and resentment appear. These feelings may manifest as migraines, dizziness, and other physical symptoms. For this reason, you should not lose the source or cause of your anger. Always ask yourself what made you angry in the first place. This way you will not blame yourself.
Passive aggression
By definition, passive-aggressive behavior is an indirect expression of anger and hostility. For example, in the form of procrastination, sarcasm, monotony, bitterness, or intentional and repeated failure to perform the tasks assigned to a person.
In passive aggression, your words, gestures, or actions reflect your anger. However, you do not express it directly. In fact, your anger is hidden. You hide it, but you do not pass it on or solve it. The most common example of this is the use of indirect hints and comments. Mocking and teasing – which is unfortunately common in society – is a manifestation of passive aggression.
It is wrong to hide anger because it causes confusion. Both for you and for others. In addition, it is impossible to express your frustration openly by pointing and pointing indirectly. In short, masking anger can lead to unnecessarily prolonged conflicts and misunderstandings, or even be a direct source of new conflict.
Pouring anger on other people
Sometimes anger creates a chain of aggression that is completely irrational in nature. For example, when a person is harassed by his boss at work, he does not express his anger or defend himself, but when he gets home, he vents his anger on his wife. His wife does not defend herself there either, but she is upset, and when the children return from school, she is unaware of their slightest mistake and shouts at them. The child does not defend himself against the mother, but later vents his anger on their younger sibling or pet.
This example shows a chain of anger attacks in which none of the connections are properly managed. In such cases, a person who is not involved in the main dispute at all may pay the price for emotional mismanagement. As you can see in the example, poor emotional management can ruin a whole chain of relationships.
Summary:
Learning anger management is critical to creating healthier environments and more productive relationships.
It is important to express your grief towards the person who caused these feelings in the first place. In the example above, the person should have told his or her boss after calming down a bit that his or her behavior was unfair, careless, or disrespectful and that he or she was upset, thus continuing the chain of anger and rage to the house and other people who were not involved. Did not find.
“This kind of transmission of anger and rage to others is the most important cause of irrational conflicts and tensions that we often see around us.”
How to control your anger?
“By learning strategies, you can control your anger,” said one psychologist.
The psychologist pointed out that the increase in sexuality and economic and social problems in today’s world has led to increased anger and rage among people in society, clarified: Teach anger management when angry to prevent anger that sometimes has irreparable consequences.
The psychologist pointed out that anger is one of the strongest human emotions and when it occurs, it leads to changes in a person’s physical and biological system, he said: If this emotion is not properly controlled and expressed; It causes serious harm to the individual and society.
The psychologist pointed out that pausing for a few seconds and taking deep breaths has a great effect on maintaining calm and reducing anger when angry: Negative and unhealthy thoughts; The main reason for anger and aggressive behaviors is that these thoughts should be identified and replaced with positive thoughts.
The psychologist also mentioned about anger management strategies: In order to control our behavior in times of anger, there are ways such as leaving the environment, engaging in other work, talking to a trusted person, exercising and walking. Using positive thoughts and sentences, writing and reading are some of the ways to control anger and rage.
He continued: “Unfortunately, anger and rage among children and adolescents has also increased, the main reason for which is the prevalence of computer games, which have many violent scenes that if families do not pay attention to this point, children and adolescents in the future in They will be nervous when entering the community that they will not be able to control their anger.
How to control your anger quickly?
Managing anger is easier said than done. Contrary to popular belief, anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but it becomes unhealthy when it occurs minute by minute or we lose control of the situation.
Anger is a mental state that ranges from a simple annoyance to a lot of anger. For example, sometimes you are offended by what your friend says, but not so much that you even bring it to yourself, and it has probably been many times that your friend has continued his behavior and hurt your feelings. You too have run out of patience and instead of controlling your anger, you become angry with him and quickly regret it. The question has always been on your mind how can I not get angry?
Anger is an emotion that we should think about ways to control instead of suppressing. Anger, like other emotions, carries a message. This message may indicate the existence of an unfortunate, unfair or threatening situation against you. If you react to such situations with extreme anger or rage, you will never get the message of your feelings.
But do not worry. Managing anger is easier said than done. Contrary to popular belief, anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but it becomes unhealthy when it occurs minute by minute or we lose control of the situation.
The idea we all have of anger management is to learn how to suppress it. In fact, instead of repression, we should think about why we are angry. Once we discover the causes of anger and the right tools to manage it, we will be better able to control it. By controlling our anger, we will not only feel better, but also more likely to be met by those around us. Also, by controlling anger better, we can manage the troubles of our lives and move towards stronger relationships with others.
Identify a possible aperture and path
If you sit still and think about the things that make you nervous, you will surely get into a lot of trouble and anger. Do your children’s misbehaviors upset you? Well, buy things that keep them cool to keep their heads busy so they don’t bother you and get on your nerves unnecessarily. If you do not think fairly, a worse outcome will actually surprise you. If you are angry, try to take a deep breath and use logical solutions to the problems that make you angry.
Forgive or forget
Forgiveness is the greatest antidote to anger. If you allow anger to penetrate you and think of other negative thoughts, you will end up with nothing but bitterness, anger and pessimism.
Strengthen listening skills
Strengthening your listening skills may seem like an irrelevant solution, but it is not, if you do not believe it, read on to find out.
When we are listeners, we immediately connect with the person who is talking to us. There are three things that can be done to show that you are honest with the other person.
- Shows that you are careful
Shows respect for the thoughts and feelings of others
- Strengthens the feeling of empathy
Practice being calm
According to the American Psychological Association, techniques such as deep breathing and soothing images and sounds can calm you down and prevent anger and violence. The association also offered specific ways to help you relax.
Deep breath from the chest
Using words like take easy, be comfortable and I’m in control of calm can help you calm down.
Use images that soothe your body with visualization.
Trends in sports such as yoga, tai chi and meditation
Reconstruction of previous cognitions and habits
People who are always angry and very angry are always swearing, cursing and so on. These things in themselves are problematic, and it is obvious that they use excessive violence when they are angry. Rebuilding our cognitions and habits is nothing more than changing the way we are. Try to change your way and choose the most logical one.
Count
Count to 10. If you are very angry, start counting from 100. During this time, your heart rate will slow down and your anger will likely subside.
Take a deep breath
When you are angry, your breath counts, and the more angry you become, the faster you breathe. Control this condition by breathing slowly and deeply. For deep breathing, inhale through the nose and out through the mouth. Do this inhale and exhale slowly and for a few seconds.
Take a walk
Exercise can calm the nerves and reduce anger. So whenever you get angry, go for a walk or a bike ride or hit the ball a few times. This depletion of energy is good for your mind and body.
Relax your muscles
In muscle relaxation, you should first tighten the various muscles in your body and then release them. Take deep, slow breaths as you tighten and release the muscles.
Repeat a kind of “mantra” with you
In some religions, such as Hinduism and Zoroastrianism, a set of words and sounds that are repeated many times with a particular melody is called a mantra. Mantra is used in meditation. So consider a word or phrase that repeats itself in times of anger to calm you down and focus your thoughts. Whenever you are upset, repeat that word or phrase over and over again. “The phrases ‘be calm’, ‘do not be hard’ and ‘you will be fine’ are good examples of these mantras.”